When you’re a student, walking into an industry event can feel like crashing someone else’s party. At a recent Parlour event, graduates Natalie Robertson and Kostadin Dimitrov turned that feeling into action – approaching mentors, asking questions, and starting conversations with people they’d never met before.
In this Q&A, Nat and Kosta share what it was really like to network as early‑career designers: what felt daunting, what they actually did on the night, and how they follow up afterwards. If you’re wondering what to say at events, how to start conversations, or how to build relationships without the awkward, you’ll find practical tips, examples, and gentle scripts you can try at your next lecture, crit, or industry night.
How did you feel walking into the Parlour event, and what helped you move past any nerves or awkwardness at the start?
Natalie Robertson, Project Coordinator
It helped for one that it was in our office, was very familiar! Normally, going with one friend that you can fall back on always helps when entering a new, slightly nerve-wracking environment. This may be the extrovert in me, but even just saying hi to the first person you come across and asking where they’re studying or what company they’re from etc. is a good ice breaker. Others are equally as nervous and/or wanting to connect! Sometimes you just need to be the first to initiate. You always have to remember that everyone attending is there for the same purpose… to connect!
Kostadin Dimitrov, Graduate
Walking in, I felt a sense of curiosity and unawareness of how the event could end up, which at times can conjure up some pre-event anxiety too. What usually helps me is the reminder that events such as these exist to facilitate easy connections and that no one is grading perfect conversations; most people there are equally as relieved when someone starts talking to them too.
How do you usually prepare for an industry event so you feel more confident walking into the room?
Natalie
Having a few basic questions that you’re wanting to ask people helps – questions that will help form a basis for the information or insight you’d like to gain from the people you will be meeting. This will involve some basic research into mentors attending, if you have that information available, allowing you to form a priority list of who you’re most interested in chatting with based on your research of their firm, experience, background etc. that interests you the most.
Kosta
I prepare for an industry event with at least one question or piece of information in mind I am keen to learn more about so that initial greetings and conversations can be direction-led if needed. I always make sure to extend an invite to friends before networking events, which makes a tremendous impact on my confidence to meet and greet new faces with a familiar one next to me.
When you’re at an event like Parlour, how do you start a conversation with a mentor or practitioner you’ve never met before?
Natalie
I find food is a good conversation starter to break the ice initially – if you come across a practitioner also getting some refreshments you can introduce yourself then or comment on the food selection. I start with usual small talk: introduce yourself, where you work or study, ask about where they work or any projects you know they’re on. The conversation normally naturally flows from here; they’re normally just as interested in learning about your experiences too!
Kosta
Understand first that each mentor or practitioner is there to start a conversation with you too! Keeping things simple is ideal with something like, “Hi, I’m [name], how are you finding the event?” Introductions like those are usually expected so they’ll rarely feel awkward. The hardest part I feel is typically the few seconds before the introduction, but after that, talk always feels natural.
Once you’ve started talking to someone, what kinds of questions do you like to ask so it feels like a real conversation rather than an interview?
Natalie
It really depends on the type of event it is, but in the instance of this Parlour event, asking about their work experience and about how they felt or what they did really helps bring a personal lens. Being able to chime in and relate certain feelings, experiences or anxieties brings the real conversation out and creates room for deeper understanding and advice.
Kosta
I typically find the questions which make my conversations easier and less of an interrogation is switching my questions quickly after a minute or so from “how do I achieve this?” to “what did you think of this?” or “how did you feel about that?” There are professional values and insights which can be gained from asking about experiences and feelings, over focusing on attaining transactional answers.
At the Parlour event, was there a conversation that went particularly well? What made it work, and is there anything you’d try again next time?
Natalie
Using personal experiences to relate to the person. For example, I spoke to someone who had worked and lived across various countries. I had just come back from an international exchange and have lived overseas for parts of my life too. Establishing this common ground between us made it feel like she was more excited to chat with me due to the mutual understanding.
Kosta
Discussing a shared interest and pursued endeavour of mine in common with another mentor made for a really successful conversation on the night and a relaxed and honest experience. Personally, doing 3D printing for Architectus and understanding I have plenty to learn on it, it was an invaluable opportunity to be led to a mentor who could provide genuine advice about it and share mutual experiences. Finding commonalities with mentors that you have a genuine interest in is an effective way to create great conversation at an event.
Do you follow up with people after events? If so, what does that look like for you, and can you share a couple of examples of short messages you might send in the first 24–48 hours?
Natalie
I personally don’t, unless I felt like we really connected or actively discussed establishing a connection after the event. A message could be as short and simple as thanking them for their time and professional insight or advice. You could also extend an offer of meeting up for a coffee in the future to discuss certain topics of interest further. Most important thing to remember though is to take the initiative yourself if you’re wanting to stay connected!
Kosta
I don’t typically follow up after an event unless there was a conversation established at the event, however it is definitely an important exercise to do for someone looking to get their name out there. I usually like to connect with people I spent the most time with during an event on LinkedIn; and to further create meaningful networking, a short message to them could look like this:
Hi, it was great meeting you at the Parlour event last night. I appreciated our conversation about [topic]. Thanks again for sharing your insights about it, it would be great to stay in touch.
How do you try to turn one-off conversations at events into ongoing professional relationships – staying in touch, asking for advice, or sharing your work?
Natalie
My method is to ask to connect with them on LinkedIn after an event and thank them for their time if you had a particularly insightful conversation. Regularly attending events and making an effort to talk to them again in person will build a stronger relationship going forward, where you can start asking more for advice by staying in touch.
Kosta
Creating your own array of occasional touchpoints is a solid way of working towards ongoing professional relationships. Turning one-off conversations into more long-term contacts could look like:
- Regularly attending architectural events for students and grads
- Reaching out on LinkedIn or email asking questions or seeking advice
- Extending congratulations and gratitude in person and online
- Sharing your personal portfolio work for ideas and feedback
From your perspective as a grad, what should students focus on, and what should they avoid when they’re talking to people from practices like Architectus at events?
Natalie
Don’t ask for jobs or heavily hint at it! A lot of students go into these events expecting to meet people who will just refer them for jobs – this is not the case. It’s an opportunity to form a new relationship with professionals that could turn into mentorship or friendship over time and eventually lead to job search support or recommendations if the connection is successful. Remember that they are people and you want your connection to feel like more than just a job exchange or a one-sided benefit.
Kosta
At events, students should place a focus on being curious about the practices and people they are interacting with; this involves listening carefully and, as I’ve talked about earlier, asking about experiences rather than opportunities. Some notable aspects to avoid during an event are leading any interaction with job requests – this can come across as an ingenuine connection in the spirit of an event which aims to generate close mentorships and communication. Another is to avoid comparing yourself to others in the room. I am a personal culprit of this, however it is important to understand everyone is there with the same goals as you, just at different stages of their journey. Overall, I have learnt that leaving an impression on practitioners relies on giving them genuine interest and attention rather than anything rehearsed in your head.
If someone feels shy, new to the city, or unsure they “belong in the room”, what low-pressure ways would you suggest they start building a network anyway?
Natalie
If you’re still a student, I highly recommend joining some student societies or organisations like Parlour, EmAGN, SONA etc. Often you start to see the same faces reoccurring at these events and it’s a lot easier to form connections through that frequent presence. Even just asking a uni friend to attend a talk with you or go to a mentoring event is a nice way to start opening your environments and network with the comfort of someone you know nearby too.
Kosta
Getting involved and attending your university’s societies and organisations such as SONA, EmAGN, AIA, Parlour, is a surefire way of starting to build a network. Even if you’re not the most outgoing person, understand that architecture is a somewhat small community which means that the most important factor here is showing up consistently. With time, faces will become more familiar and meaningful conversations will naturally become more accessible.
Any additional tips or thoughts that could be useful to students?
Natalie
Ask questions and don’t be ashamed of not knowing something! Practitioners are aware that we are students or graduates and that we are still on our journey of learning. They don’t expect us to know everything and are more than happy to share their knowledge and experiences when asked.
Kosta
For myself, making that mental switch of not seeing these various architecture events as “networking” personally made everything that comes with networking easier. As someone who struggled early on as a student to feel like I belong in a room, it was eye-opening to realise that my presence already proves I belong. Getting involved and being inquisitive about the architecture industry can lead to a lot.
Networking will probably never feel completely natural, but it can feel more manageable when you treat it as a series of small experiments instead of a performance. For your next event, try one or two of Nat and Kosta’s ideas: prepare a couple of honest opening lines, aim for one good conversation rather than “meeting everyone”, and send a short follow‑up message while the chat is still fresh. Over time, those simple habits can turn a room full of strangers into a professional community that knows who you are and what you care about.